WWE Royal Rumble 2012 Review/Recap/Results

Match 1: Daniel Bryan(c) defeated The Big Show and Mark Henry in a Triple Threat Steel Cage match to retain the World Heavyweight Championship

– Mark Henry must really be hurt. He was a complete non-factor in this match. Mark spent a good portion of the match writhing in pain on the mat while Daniel Bryan and the Big Show controlled the offense. If he was that hurt going into the event, why not just pull him from the card? That’s the beautiful thing about triple threat matches. You can lose a man and still have yourself enough guys for a wrestling match.

– The ending to this match must have been botched. The Big Show was holding on to Daniel Bryan while he dangled from the top of the cage, only to lose his grip and drop the champion allowing him to retain his gold. With the length of this match only being 10 minutes or so, I am led to believe that this may not have been the planned ending. It looked as if Bryan slipped off of Big Shows hands.

Match Grade: C

Match 2: Beth Phoenix, Natalya and The Bella Twins defeated Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, Alicia Fox and Tamina

<- Now I remember why I love the color Aqua.

– Usually Divas tag team matches of this size are complete garbage. They tend to be one Diva after another performing their finishing move until one girl is left remaining to get the pinfall. The formula was different this time around. All the ladies got their chance to shine in this match. It was given a fair amount of time (6-7 minutes) and it ended up being the best match in the division since Eve and Beth Phoenix squared off at Survivor Series.

– Which spot was better…..Kelly Kelly leaping from the top rope to the outside or Beth Phoenix giving the Glam Slam to Eve from the top rope at Survivor Series?

Match Grade: C +

Match 3: John Cena vs Kane ends in a double-countout

– Was this match a letdown or what? I wrote in my predictions for the event that this match was going to end in a no-contest, but a double-countout just seems so lame for such hyped-up feud. I can pretty much guarantee that a Kane vs  John Cena rematch will take place at the Elimination Chamber pay per view, unless both guys get put into the Chamber match itself.

– Once the match was called a draw, myself and the live audience in St. Louis lost complete interest in the post-match shenanigans. The actual match wasn’t as exciting as I thought it would be, so that made me care even less for what occurred afterwards. So much more could have been done with these two, but what we got was a lackluster 10 minute match with no real payoff in the end. My patience with these 2 is wearing thin. What happens now?

– By the way, what the heck is the WWE doing with Zack Ryder? Whatever momentum “Long Island Iced Z” had built up for himself over the last 6 months is officially gone. The only way any of this nonsense with Kane will make sense is if the 2 square off at Wrestlemania 28, which I seriously doubt is going to happen.

Match Grade: D +

Match 4: Brodus Clay defeated Drew McIntyre

– Why was this match even on the card? Leave the Brodus Clay squash matches for Raw and Smackdown and keep them off of my WWE pay per views, please and thank you.

– How many more of these matches are we going to have to sit through before Brodus gets put in a meaningful storyline? With Zack Ryder “injured”, perhaps Clay could work a program with Jack Swagger for the United States Championship.

– I hope to one day live in a world where Brodus Clay executes a move that isn’t a headbutt, suplex, corner splash or “What the funk?”  What the funk, indeed.

– I’d write something about Drew McIntyre, but every time I mention his name, a tear runs down my cheek.

Match Grade: F

Match 5: C.M Punk(c) defeated Dolph Ziggler to retain the WWE Championship; Raw Interim General Manager John Laurinaitis was the special enforcer

– Punk and Ziggler always seem to have great matches together, and this one was no exception. I could watch these 2 wrestle at every pay per view for a year and not get sick of it. If you get a chance to check out the match, be sure to look out for Ziggler reversing the GTS into a Fameasser. That’s probably the best counter to the Go To Sleep that you will ever see.

– I never thought for a second that Laurinaitis was going to screw over Punk. Since the WWE decided to let everyone know of his “performance review” a week in advance, it basically gave away that John would suck up to Punk in order to keep his job tonight on Raw. He even got in the ring and counted down Zigglers shoulders as Punk retained the title.

– This is the 2nd Royal Rumble event in a row where Dolph Ziggler has failed to capture a World Championship. I don’t know if the WWE is waiting for the right time to pull the trigger or if they don’t have total faith in Dolph just yet, but something tells me Dolph Ziggler will be a World Champion sooner rather than later. He’s just that good.

Match Grade: B +

Main Event: Sheamus eliminates Chris Jericho to win the 2012 Royal Rumble match

(I loved ….)

– Sheamus winning the Rumble. The WWE turned the tables on all of us and had someone who wasn’t named Chris Jericho or Randy Orton win this years Rumble match. Instead of going the predictable route (which the company tends to do a lot) and having Y2J win, the WWE gave the victory to one of its biggest up-and-coming stars in the “Great White” Sheamus. I did peg Sheamus as one of my favorites in the match early on, but I never actually thought he’d win the thing. With Jericho more than likely being in the WWE championship match at Wrestlemania this year, it was nice to see the WWE use the Rumble as a way to figure out what’s going to happen with the World Heavyweight Championship at the big event in April. Sheamus can choose which championship he wrestles for, but it’s more than likely that he will challenge Daniel Bryan for the World Championship, with Punk and Jericho left to fend for the WWE title.

– the return of Kharma. The Divas division is finally relevant again with her returning to in-ring action. Let’s face it, the only Divas match anyone really cares to see at the moment is Beth Phoenix vs Kharma, and now we can hopefully get that encounter for the Divas title at Wrestlemania 28. Watch the return of Kharma

– the way Cody Rhodes was handled. Other than Sheamus, nobody had a better performance in this years Royal Rumble than Cody Rhodes. He eliminated the most competitors from the match (6) and lasted the second longest amount of time in the ring (43 minutes). It just goes to show that the WWE still has big things in store for the young Rhodes. By the way, does anyone else find it interesting that Cody was involved in the elimination of 90% of the legends in this match (Jim Duggan, Jerry Lawler, Booker T, Mick Foley)?

– how funny the match was. I nearly fell on the floor laughing after watching Ricardo Rodriguez drive down to the ring in that disaster of an automobile. Alberto Del Rio has never received a pop quite as big as what Ricardo got last night in the Rumble. Having Santino Marella as the next entrant just added to the hilarity. His elimination of Ricardo as well as his sock fight with Mick Foley were some of the highlights of the night. If Ricardo Rodriguez and Santino Marella were ever to form a tag team in the WWE, it would be mid-card gold for the company. Watch the entrance and elimination of Ricardo Rodriquez  Watch the sock fight between Santino and Mick Foley

– the Kofi Kingston handstand. The WWE must really want the fans to forget about John Morrison. John Morrison and his parkour routine from last years Rumble pale in comparison to Kofi Kingston using a handstand to stay in the match this year. The king of escaping elimination is now Kofi Kingston. Watch Kofi Kingston use the handstand

(I disliked)

– the return of the Great Khali. Khali had no business being in this match. One of the worst talents the company has ever had made an appearance to eliminate one of the worst talents the company currently has in Jinder Mahal. What a waste.

– the eliminations of the Big Show. In a matter of minutes, the Big Show eliminated 4 of the youngest, brightest stars in the WWE (Dolph Ziggler, The Miz, Jack Swagger, Cody Rhodes). What was the point of that? I feel bad for Cody Rhodes and the Miz who went over 40 minutes in the match to only become fodder for the Big Show near the end. This was horrible booking by the WWE. What an awesome way to bury the young guys.

– the use of the announcers. What happened to the good old days when announcers would just stick to announcing and stay behind the desk? How come 3 valuable spots in the Rumble were given to the broadcast team of Cole/Lawler/Booker? Personally, I would have put either Jerry Lawler or Booker T in the match, eliminated the Brodus/McIntyre match from earlier in the night and added the two of them into the Rumble.

Match Grade: B+

OVERALL GRADE: B

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